Hey everybody, this is my new blog on my new website. I don't really have shit to say, but here's some stuff I'm thinking about:
It's really difficult to create the image you want the world to see. That sounds all "freshman comp essay" but that's not what I'm talking about. I write mostly about girls and drinking, and I always write about myself. Funny and stupid shit I do or have done. I also write about really fucked up situations that I've gotten myself into over the years--shit I couldn't have planned or made up. I've been told that a lot of my stories are funny, which is nice since they cracked me up while I was writing them. I also write about some seriously sad shit, though those almost never get published or even read. Either way, I take all of it very seriously. The problem is that I hate overly-serious, too-self-important, artist types. I don't want images of artsy shit on my website, even though I love artsy shit and am totally obsessed with myself. All of it makes me want to puke. Anyway, I'm not sure how to put myself out there in a way that is true. Jesus, that sounds fucking gay.
I worked hard at creating this image of a nasty, smart, drunk, innocent guy. I was in to "myth making" like Hemingway and guys like that. Unfortunately, it kind of worked--except the innocent part. People read my stories, or hear me read them, and they believe the myth. They want to talk about strippers. They want to know if I really tried to fuck a skeleton or if I really had sex with my students. (College) Did I really get drunk and shit myself? That really pisses me off, or discourages me, at least. So, yeah, I tried to create this image and then got upset about the fact that people believe it.
So what do I put on my website? Pictures of hot, drunk girls puking? A dude with his head in a urinal? The Dallas skyline? Kitties? Sad pictures of old ladies who can't afford their medicines? Essays about politics and inequality? All of those things are true. But then again, I have an image to uphold.